Archive for the ‘Emotional pain’ Category

Our mind can be our best friend or our worst enemy.

Our mind can be our best friend or our worst enemy.

The power and influence of our mind has been long recognized. Over 2500 years ago, The Dhammapada noted: Hard it is to train the mind which goes where it likes and does as it wants; but a trained mind brings health and happiness.

Our mind generates thoughts that yield happiness, mediocrity or misery. The choice depends on how we use our mind—the way we think. Something happens; we react with an instantaneous thought or feeling. The thought-feeling generates more thoughts that focus on the problem; the feelings gain strength and become entrenched. We are in the cycle of misery. Our mind seems to have a mind of its own.  The self-directed mind cannot solve problems started and exacerbated by that very same mind.

Breaking this addictive mental cycle requires that we control our mind.  If all else fails, we can pause, access our inner spiritual power and ask for help to direct our mind; this practice start training this mental machine. This transforming influence, an actual additional energy, provides the power to break the shackles binding us to certain thoughts and to re-direct our thinking. The spirit-directed mind sees a different view, a more balanced and truer perspective and becomes our best friend.

Prayer: My loving divine source and indwelling spirit please quiet my mind and ease my emotions; elevate my thoughts to be conscious of and to reflect your will in my life; grant me a new perspective that I may see the truth; guide my mind to awareness of my blessings; make me aware of simple actions I may take that will shift my thoughts. Help my mind be a benefit instead of a liability, to bring me happiness instead of misery.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; pause for a few minutes in silence

If our day is dark, we can we can curse the darkness or we can seek illumination. One focuses on the problem; the other, the solution.

Adversity, grief, and challenges will darken every life. They may range from a shadow to the obliteration of all light, the terrible dark night of the soul from which relief seems impossible. But we always have a choice—do we stay in the darkness or do we move toward the light? Do we depend solely on our human resources or do we seek spiritual help? Do we stay mired in misery or do we access our inner spiritual power to transcend to the heights of human/divine potential?

Focusing on the problem, the darkness, keeps us in continuing misery. Our thoughts obsess on the immediate quandary and we are pulled deeper into the problem; we cannot see the solution because our attention is on the problem.  We find that sometimes we cannot break free from the dilemma using only our mind and will power. As children of a loving divine parent, we are gifted with an inner reservoir of clarity, a spiritual energy that can quiet our mental upheaval. We pause, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly; then, we repeat this three times. Be still and ask your inner source for peace and guidance.

Prayer: My precious and loving inner spirit, please quiet my mind; remove contention and indecision; bring peace to my emotions; help me to sit in stillness. Illuminate my choice with wisdom; give me strength to overcome these adversities and guide me to the best solution to my challenges. 

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

Whenever I am upset, there is something wrong with ME.

I must be responsible for all my feelings or forever feel un-peaceful. Yes, bad things happen; people inflict real or imagined wrongs, life is hectic and I get frustrated when people or events do not meet my expectations. I cannot control other people but I can choose how I react. I must slow down, take three deep breaths, and ask my inner spirit to help me understand why I am reacting this way and lead me to a better response:

  • Have I lost my connection to my spiritual source? Do I truly feel that spiritual presence?
  • Am I making myself—something I want or expect—or someone else—more important than the spiritual purpose, values, and direction that must be my foundation?
  • Is my mind spiritually directed or I am reacting on self-will?
  • Am I allowing my perceptions, expectations, other people’s opinions, or temporary events to erode my security, dignity, poise, or self-worth?
  • How important is it really? Is it an immediate problem that threatens my well-being? Is it really any of my business?

Prayer: I am disturbed; I have lost my sense of well-being and know that you, my inner spiritual source will help restore my peace. I ask that you quiet my mind, heal my emotions, and spread your infinite love throughout my soul and to every fiber of my being. Let me feel your presence in my life this moment; guide my thoughts to reflect on the blessings in my life; help me to understand that disappointment, loss, rejection, and adversity are opportunities for growth, chances for me to deepen this relationship that is the true power of my existence.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence

Much of our misery results from unconscious decisions.

We seldom make a conscious choice to worry or get angry or engage in many other emotional upsets. An event happens; we automatically react; we experience thoughts, feelings, and possibly take action without making a conscious decision; then, our mind justifies and reinforces our response. Past reactions to similar situations have become so deeply ingrained that they have formed an emotional reflex action—we react without thought or consideration and create problems for our self. If we want a great life, we must change our automatic unconscious choices into conscious, aware decisions.

 Each time we find our self starting to react, when we feel the rush of anger, worry, anxiety, of guilt and remorse, we pause, take three relaxation breaths and ask our inner spiritual force to:

    • remove the contentious feeling
    • alter our thoughts; let them reflect we are a child of God
    • make us more aware of these automatic reactions that cause us turmoil and give us the strength to break these patterns
    • grant us the wisdom and maturity to make a conscious choices that benefit our life.

 Prayer: My inner bastion of power, my spirit guide, help not to participate in reactions that are not good for me; to realize when I am in the midst of engaging in emotional turmoil simply because it is the way I have previously responded. Give me the power, the strength, and the will to disregard these reflex emotions and make conscious choices that align with your will for me which will always result in my ultimate benefit.  

 Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence

Shed the darkness of religious lethargy; Enjoy the amazing adventure of personally experiencing divine power

Religion without a vibrant, personal spiritual connection to the divine source is like the reflection of a flame in a mirror; it contains no heat. Some discover an exciting, intimate association with God through religious participation. Others may use such involvement as a substitute; they assume that attending church and participating in ritual constitutes a spiritual life. But half-hearted spirituality produces few results in daily living.

The personal spiritual quest is not dull, boring and glum; it’s an exciting adventure of discovering an indwelling source of power and guidance and finding solutions that actually solve the problems of life. This journey unleashes the additional source of spiritual energy that makes possible the greatest transformations possible in this life: this power moves us from addiction to freedom; from fear, anxiety, and anger to courage, peace, love, and tolerance; from weak and undirected drifting—blown hither and yon by the winds of life—to strength of character, certainty of purpose and unquestioned principles. This quest finds and welcomes the shift in attitude that views adversity as challenges, triumphs over overwhelming difficulties, and is willing to reach out the hand of love and compassion to the less fortunate.

Prayer: Dear God, break my shackles of lethargy, apathy and rebellion; grant me the willingness to launch a new life, to have the courage to explore and find all that I might be. Guide my efforts to find you, to feel and experience the inner spirit you so graciously gave me. Grant me the wisdom to allow this spirit to transform my life.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

The value of a vessel is its emptiness.

Clay is formed into a vessel.

The emptiness bounded by the clay creates the usefulness of the vessel.

Walls, windows, and doors make boundaries of a room.

The value is its emptiness, not the boundaries.

— Verse 11, Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu

If I have a pitcher of dirty water and want to fill it with clean water, the vessel has to be emptied. The vessel has no value or capacity to carry the desired contents as long as it is full of something else.

The walls of the pitcher define its shape. These physical boundaries are what we see and identify as “the pitcher.” However, the attribute that makes this vessel worth having exists inside its walls. Its value lies in the emptiness. It must be empty before it can hold something more valuable. Likewise, we can never receive the new while we are full of the old. If I am full of ME, I have no room for others—including God.

  • If I am full of knowing, I cannot learn.
  • If I am full of physical things, I cannot receive spiritual insight or power.
  • If I am full of misery, I cannot accept happiness.
  • If I am full of myself, there is no room for others.
  • I can be filled with knowledge but void of wisdom.
  • I can be filled with facts but not know truth.
  • I can be filled with action but empty of results.
  • I can be filled with doing and miss being.

Prayer: Please remove from me any thoughts, opinions, preconceptions, or understanding that stands in the way of my peace and happiness; empty me of anything that impedes my usefulness to you or my fellows; make me receptive to any fragrance of truth, beauty, and goodness. Fill me with wisdom, peace, and an active love for all I meet this day.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

Love people; use things. Don’t use people and love things

Our world focuses on “things.” We are bombarded with the concept that our life will be better if we just get this “thing”; we are told that we will experience love and exquisite bliss if we just buy this certain object. And it’s a lie. “Things” can make our life easier or more enjoyable; using them may add to our pleasure but can never be the source of deep and lasting happiness.  

Loving other people and being able to receive love are essential in fulfilling our human potential. Loving relationships are the heartbeat of our very existence, a vital need to every individual. Love flows from the eternal source but must move through us to others to become a part of our own experience. Love is “an active and healthy concern for a person’s well-being” and not a desire for, or an affection of, a thing.

Prayer: Infinite source and my indwelling connection to God, help me open my heart, mind and soul to become more aware of the divine flow of your love; grant me understanding, compassion, and tolerance to bestow this gift to all I meet this day—especially to any that may offend or hurt me. Let me appreciate the material blessings, the “things” of life, but not be overly concerned with any of them.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

Guilt often comes from expectations

Guilt is a feeling of culpability of being responsible or blameworthy for harm or error.

Like fear, guilt can be healthy or unhealthy. We can be overly sensitive to other people’s expectations and feel guilty when we disappoint them; we can set unreasonable expectations on our self and feel guilty when we fall short; we can have misconceptions about God and feel unwarranted guilt through our misunderstanding.  Unhealthy guilt can cause deep agony; we can experience deep, soul-disturbing feelings and have done absolutely nothing wrong.

If we have actually done something wrong, even healthy guilt can exert unnecessary harm. We cannot allow it to mire us in despair and self-loathing nor to extend beyond an appropriate time. We need to right the wrong, make restitution, apologize or whatever; then we let this experience mold us into a better person, a move loving child of God. Our mistakes can bring the pain that makes us move forward; our errors may initiate wisdom, patience, and tolerance.

Prayer: My loving spiritual parent, I claim my birthright as your child. I come to you in this time of inner turmoil and ask that you direct my thoughts. If I have strayed from the path of your choosing and committed error, guide me in making right all things; grant me courage, wisdom, and sincerity as I proceed. If I am overly sensitive to expectations, replace my misguided reactions with true understanding; pervade my mind with your love; restore my soul with your peace.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

“Silent Agreement” can spawn lies, sever loyalties, and lessen something honest or good without uttering a word.

Yes, silence may be golden, but failing to stand for our core values costs a heavy price (always for us and sometimes for others.) Make no mistake: Silence is tacit agreement with what has been said or done.

Like so many things, the motive for silence is more important than the act itself. “Why” we fail to speak determines the ultimate effect on our character. If the occurring words or deed reflect something that is not important, or we have no belief or knowledge about it, social grace may let us pass on stating our conviction or opinion. However, failing to address an action that conflicts with our life purpose, beliefs, or values because we fear others people’s opinions, are concerned with the repercussions that may be inflicted upon us, or we just want to “get along” causes three problems:

  1. Our silent agreement adds weight, strength, and credibility to something that offends us or that we feel is in error.
  2. Each such act takes a piece of our integrity, ethics, and courage.
  3. Repeated failures build character patterns until we are conditioned not to be speak out against anything.

Spiritual maturity and wisdom guide us when to speak loving, tactful, courageous words.

Prayer: Dear God, guide my mind this day. Give me wisdom, peace and courage as I engage with all people. Help me to always stand for what is important; guide me to speak and act with poise, loyalty and conviction but not be overly involved with the trifles of life.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence

“Silent Agreement” can spawn lies, sever loyalties, and lessen something honest or good without uttering a word.

Yes, silence may be golden, but failing to stand for our core values costs a heavy price (always for us and sometimes for others.) Make no mistake: Silence is tacit agreement with what has been said or done.

Like so many things, the motive for silence is more important than the act itself. “Why” we fail to speak determines the ultimate effect on our character. If the occurring words or deed reflect something that is not important, or we have no belief or knowledge about it, social grace may let us pass on stating our conviction or opinion. However, failing to address an action that conflicts with our life purpose, beliefs, or values because we fear others people’s opinions, are concerned with the repercussions that may be inflicted upon us, or we just want to “get along” causes three problems:

  1. Our silent agreement adds weight, strength, and credibility to something that offends us or that we feel is in error.
  2. Each such act takes a piece of our integrity, ethics, and courage.
  3. Repeated failures build character patterns until we are conditioned not to be speak out against anything.Spiritual maturity and wisdom guide us when to speak loving, tactful, courageous words.

Prayer: Dear God, guide my mind this day. Give me wisdom, peace and courage as I engage with all people. Help me to always stand for what is important; guide me to speak and act with poise, loyalty and conviction but not be overly involved with the trifles of life.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

Call Us Today!
Call Direct:
720-379-7721

Call Toll Free:
1-888-56HAPPY (888-564-2779)
getthebook