Posts Tagged ‘feelings’

Measure progress by how far you’ve come—not how far you’ve got to go

We are human; our daily performance sometimes falls short of our expectations. We may revert back to our old ways, making choices and taking actions based self-driven will. When this occurs, we may compare our performance to where we believe we should be and become disappointed, thinking that we know better and should do better. Instead, let us measure progress by how far we’ve come from where we started and not how far we’ve got to go

 Consistently living up to our ideals is impossible in this life. Striving to live a spiritual life inherently means that our ideals will always advance faster than our performance. As we manage to improve in one area, we see a different perspective; our understanding expands; higher and more refined ideals appear. For example, wanting to be honest does not make us honest immediately but highlights episodes of dishonesty; as we continue to practice, our concept of honesty deepens; we see more areas of needed improvement. Living up to our higher standards always takes time, practice, and maintenance. This gap between ideals and performance is natural and absolutely essential; it is the space required for growth.

Prayer: Dear God, my loving spirit, you have helped me come so far from my past errors and provided the strength to overcome adversity. I make mistakes and sometimes fall short of the life I try to lead, but I know that your love, patience and grace are given because I am trying, not because I am already perfect. Ease my troubled mind and my soul; give me the power and guidance to move forward.  

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; pause for a few minutes in silence

The “Big I” causes most of our misery.

Infection from the “Big I” disease occurs when my thoughts, words, and actions focus on my desires and needs. My only concern for other people is how they affect what I want. It’s all about I, I, I, me, me, me. Media, marketing, and entertainment spearhead this self-deification, continually shouting “Do this” or “Buy this” to feel good or to influence what other people think of us. How well has it worked? Marriages are failing and families disintegrating; we turn to chemicals to feel good and still suffer extremely high rates of anxiety, stress, loneliness, and misery.

We cannot enjoy great relationships, happiness, and peace of mind when we’re infected with the Big “I”. We must move beyond this self-importance to something that actually works—an awareness of the importance of other people and of God. When you feel tense, irritated or angry, pause a moment and see if this is related to the “Big I.” Ask yourself, “Are my thoughts focused on how something or someone affects ME? Is this causing my discontent?”  Upon retiring tonight, review your day for the frequency and impact of these self-directed words, thoughts, and actions. In prayer, ask God to relieve you of the “Big I.”

Prayer: My inner spirit guide and strength, help me move beyond selfishness, self-centeredness and self-righteousness; make me aware when I succumb to these harmful traits and of their influence on my life; give me the vision to see the needs, desires, and lives of others. Grant me the divine wisdom to feel, act, and be a part of this great family of humanity; to be one of your many spiritual children.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; pause for a few minutes in silence

If our day is dark, we can we can curse the darkness or we can seek illumination. One focuses on the problem; the other, the solution.

Adversity, grief, and challenges will darken every life. They may range from a shadow to the obliteration of all light, the terrible dark night of the soul from which relief seems impossible. But we always have a choice—do we stay in the darkness or do we move toward the light? Do we depend solely on our human resources or do we seek spiritual help? Do we stay mired in misery or do we access our inner spiritual power to transcend to the heights of human/divine potential?

Focusing on the problem, the darkness, keeps us in continuing misery. Our thoughts obsess on the immediate quandary and we are pulled deeper into the problem; we cannot see the solution because our attention is on the problem.  We find that sometimes we cannot break free from the dilemma using only our mind and will power. As children of a loving divine parent, we are gifted with an inner reservoir of clarity, a spiritual energy that can quiet our mental upheaval. We pause, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly; then, we repeat this three times. Be still and ask your inner source for peace and guidance.

Prayer: My precious and loving inner spirit, please quiet my mind; remove contention and indecision; bring peace to my emotions; help me to sit in stillness. Illuminate my choice with wisdom; give me strength to overcome these adversities and guide me to the best solution to my challenges. 

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

An extraordinary relationship exhibits shared core values, the willingness to grow individually and together, and individual loving, selfless freedom.

Shared core values are an important part of the best relationships.  A mutual commitment to God, integrity, honesty, truth, coupled with loving, tolerant attitudes toward others offers a firm basis for building extraordinary relationships. As with most things, unity of direction should outweigh uniformity of belief. A loving relationship is a living entity and will grow or die; as such, it provides three potential areas for growth: growth of each individual and growth of the union, the partnership.

Each individual must nurture his or her own personal spiritual growth and this requires some quiet and alone time for investigation, meditation, reflection, and processing. The resulting energy, direction, security and peace provide additional tools to overcome the challenges inherent in combining two lives. Then, a unique and special bond forms and cements the joint venture when the individuals add a shared spiritual growth to the practical, daily living choices and actions. Discussing and sharing divine values, goals, purpose, and ideals produces a depth of understanding and commitment that that does not occur in secular partnerships.

Prayer: Dear God, help me realize the value of relationships; let your love open my heart and mind; guide me to live to my fullest potential; strengthen my commitment to learn and grow; expand this desire so that I may support those I love and demonstrate caring for all people.

 Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

Make a “to be” list in addition to a “to do” list.

We get so caught up in living the rat race that we forget to actually live. We develop patterns—the mental-emotional response habits—that continually produce stress, anxiety, worry, and fear. We rush about, cramming as much activity as possible into each day; then, we crash, take a mood-altering chemical to help us relax and feel better or to sleep; and then get up the next day and do the same thing. Day after day after day. Yes we must earn a living and take care of certain necessities. But the art of living—the method of achieving the highest quality life—includes being the best version of our self and not just simply filling the day with actions.

A “to be” list might help.  Perhaps today, make a commitment to be more tolerant, compassionate, loving, patient, cheerful, kind or gentle; perhaps just pick one or two values that are important to you. The “to be” list can also include specific actions that move us to fulfill the desired value. For example if we want to be more loving, we commit to a definite act that will demonstrate love this day—we can show one person how much we value him or her, that we are grateful they share our life; we can extend an act of kindness without expecting anything in return; we can offer a hug, a massage, or prepare a special meal.

Prayer:  My dear loving spiritual guide, companion, and inner power, melt the hurry in my mind and soul this day. Help me be aware of values in addition to things; help me look for opportunities to practice the principles that are important to me; strengthen my resolve to take an action that reflects my true values. It is my will that your will be done.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

There is no law that I must allow people to “push my buttons”

After all, they are MY buttons.

Do I give other people the power to make me angry? To make me feel guilty? To make me ashamed?  Do I react to what others say, how they look at me, or what I think they think about me? Do I silently accept what “they” say I should do; how I should live my life; what my goals, dreams, and aspirations should be? And then withdraw to complain or inwardly simmer because of whatthey” say, do, or think?

Every feeling, every beautiful or painful emotion I have is inside of me and no one else. No person has ever held my head and forced me to swallow a spoonful of anger or guilt or any misery. They simply offer each of them. I am responsible to accept or reject the offering; I am responsible for all my feelings and reactions. I can allow anyone to “push my buttons” or I can accept the truth that these are my buttons and no law or ethical code that requires I allow other people to control them.

Prayer: Dear God—the source of that infinite inner power that can transform my habits, patterns, actions, and thoughts—grant me control of my inner being; help me to not automatically accept the feelings offered to me by other people; guide me to be compassionate and loving but not allow anyone to dictate the way I feel or respond this day.

 Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

THE “Yeabuts” cause continuing misery —especially if they justify resentments, anger, or other symptoms of self-driven will.

“Yeabut—I have a right to be angry”.

“Yeabut—you should see what she did”.

“Yeabut—they aren’t doing what they should do”.

“Yeabut—it isn’t right.”

“Yeabut—it isn’t fair.”

“Yeabut—I need that.”

“Yeabut—I don’t have the time.”

“Yeabuts” are masters of camouflage. They often hide selfish, self-centered, or self-righteous motives under a smokescreen of rationalization and justification or they mask immaturity with seemingly acceptable excuses. “Yeabuts” start with a tacit agreement. “Yes you’re right, but….” ; “Yes, I understand, but….”; “I was wrong, but….” Then, we sneak in the add-on, the second part that validates, rationalizes, or excuses our action or lack of action. These sometimes obvious (but often subtle) offerings prevent an honest acceptance and evaluation of our mistakes and shortcomings. The “yeabuts” are the crutch that supports the immature and weak; they stifle or outright prevent growth.

Prayer: My inner guide, I ask that you make me aware of “Yeabuts” today; help me to identify any words or thoughts that mask my mistakes or keep me from recognizing my self-driven attitudes.  Grant me strength to fearlessly face my shortcomings and the strength and guidance to overcome any that stand in my way of being of service to my fellow people.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

Why—and how–do I react to people? Am I kind and loving, patient and tolerant? Or something else?

If I get upset, is my reaction because someone attacked me physically or degraded one of my core values? Or is it because of pride or a need to be right? Do I respond with little thought, without being peacefully centered? Or do I pause, pray and try to respond with maturity and love? People will do or say things that I see as hurtful or offensive; these can be real or imagined wrongs. I should strive for emotional balance that helps me to:

1) suspend the instantaneous response, the reaction that often is wrong

2) pause and find inner peace and guidance before I respond

3) take a moment to check if my emotional reaction is triggered by self-righteousness

4) act with patience, tolerance , love, courage and conviction.

I need not volunteer for abuse; I need to stand for my values but I must not be overly sensitive or react too quickly. I can recognize a significant growth step when I am able to pause between the feeling and the responsive action and then put forth a courageous, wise and loving action instead of a reaction.

Prayer: My loving spirit, my source of strength, wisdom and direction, help me accept my humanness; grant me guidance and power to grow more toward your ideal, to be what you would have me be, to love and exhibit your presence in all my responses to other people. It is my will that your will be done.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

Character growth or character building? One follows the natural path; the other is doing it my way.

Building indicates that I have the blueprint, that I am the planner and the “doer”; growth infers that I am willing to plant the seed, nurture and water it with the right thoughts and actions, and let God and nature decide the direction and timing of my natural growth.

We’ve reached that point where we recognize certain actions, attitudes, and words that cause discontent or misery; we become willing to shed these traits and replace them with higher values and actions. Then, comes the hard part: we must release the control over how and when this happens; we cannot force spiritual growth or emotional maturity to follow our plan. We ask our inner spirit source for help, guidance and strength to become the best version of our self; we acknowledge that this source of infinite power and love can do for us what we cannot do for our self; we know that this mighty expulsive energy can cleanse us, removing all obstacles to growth; we allow ourselves to develop according to the divine plan, the plan which opens the door to infinite possibilities and benefits instead of following our self-directed scheme.  The act is ours; the consequence, God’s.

Prayer: My divine and infinite loving companion, I give you myself this day. Remove from me any thought, word or deed that impedes my effectiveness for you or for helping anyone; fill me with your divine wisdom and strength; nurture the things, meanings, and values that I need; let the water of your love refresh my soul and generate growth guided by you.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence.

Acceptance is an essential tool for a peaceful life; however acceptance occurs in stages.

If I keep running headfirst into a brick wall and it always bloodies my head, I can deny that I’m hitting the wall or deny that it’s hurting me (denying the fact of reality); but then, this leads to repeating the same action and suffering the same result. If I want to quit hurting, I face three levels of acceptance:

  1. Resistive acceptance: I understand that the reality does exist (I accept the fact of reality—it is what is); I bear up resignedly and believe that it’s wrong or unfair. (I don’t want that wall to be here; it’s not fair or right but if I want to stop hurting, I’d better quit running into it).
  2. Neutral acceptance: I am at peace with the facts; I cease struggling; although I still don’t like or appreciate what has happened, I calmly accept it and move forward with my life. (I don’t agree with this wall being there; I don’t like it or understand it, but it must serve some purpose; I cease giving it power to cause me emotional turmoil.
  3. Total acceptance: I enhance my understanding; something makes me see how the reality I face can actually benefit me and I start to appreciate it. (I had the opportunity to view what’s on the other side of the wall and it’s keeping a pride of lions from attacking me! I would be insane to tear it down. I’m grateful for that wall)

Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Take three relaxing breaths; ask your inner spirit to guide your meditation; reflect on the content, pausing for a few minutes in silence

Call Us Today!
Call Direct:
720-379-7721

Call Toll Free:
1-888-56HAPPY (888-564-2779)
getthebook